im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize