I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
