no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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