I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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