why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
