You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
