Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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