how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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