A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
