Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
