so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
