He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
