Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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