Her vagina should come with caution tape.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
