he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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