So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize