Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
