it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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