i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize