if you like me you must not know who I am
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
