All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
