just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize