The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
