maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
