Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
