I'm gonna have a badass scar
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
