Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
