so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
