K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
