it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
