Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
