dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
