Nicole vs. Life
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
