I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want to have your abortion
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
