okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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