I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
