I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
