Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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