You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
