Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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