question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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