It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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