he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize