I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize