I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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