In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
