I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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