You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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