Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
