don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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