It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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