It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
