if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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