Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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