I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize