Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
