walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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