The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize