We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
