ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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