Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
