So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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