So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
