Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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