Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize