Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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