he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
