So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
