Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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