Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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