There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
