I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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