I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
