Sry I called you an 8
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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